I do not want to kill you I want to help you

I was curious about the Google Translate Fail assignment. Is this something I would need to be bilingual to do? I only speak English, and I’m not as good at that as I should be.

I am interested in translation though. I did take a six-week Spanish 101 course five or six years ago, and I’ve been watching DVDs with the Spanish subtitles turned on ever since then. I thought it might help me learn, but all I pick up are the swear words. Did you know there’s a word for dammit that also means kitchen boy?

So I could have picked out some random LOTE text and translated it into English and wondered where it went wrong, but that wouldn’t have been much fun. Instead I used the Samuel L Ipsum placeholder text generator to come up with some text and translated it into Latin. Maybe then I would know some Latin f-bombs. Or maybe I could use it in place of some regular lorem ipsum text, just to see if anyone understands Latin. Or I could use Google Translate to bring it back to English and see what happens:

Normally, both your asses would be dead as fucking fried chicken, but you happen to pull this shit while I’m in a transitional period so I don’t wanna kill you, I wanna help you. But I can’t give you this case, it don’t belong to me. Besides, I’ve already been through too much shit this morning over this case to hand it over to your dumb ass.

Northmanni, et asinos vestros frixam quis sem sit mortui, sed fieri hoc detrahere dum Im ‘in a mauris tempus transeuntem, ita nolo te occidere volo iuvo vos. Sed non possum vobis hoc quod non pertinent ad me. Praeterea iam per multa mihi super hoc mane mauris hic tradere vobis subjugale mutum.

Normal, and your asses fried Climate book is dead, but to be done to detract from this when I’m on a the time passed by, so I do not want to kill you I want to help you. But I can not the fact that you do not belong to me. Further more this morning upon the already great is my impart unto you the dumb ass here.

I expected the translator would not handle slang and idioms well. Watching The Wire with Spanish subtitles was an interesting experience whenever the corner boys were on screen. The Spanish always seemed to be very specific, whereas the ghetto slang was anything but. C’est la vie.

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